So I’m trying to heal from some sexual issues from the past, really feeling shame(since I was like, 12) over my bare body and shame being a normal human (hormones hello) and not getting the proper nurturing in that aspect of feeing like it’s ok to be sexual at all. Nobody talked about anything growing up... to this day I still feel shameful touching myself. I try to push thru that shame and try to find some enjoyment in it anyway, though it’s tough I think my brain is playing tricks on me, the things that I say to myself in my head afterwards is very similar to that of an abuse victim. I also try to forget completely that I touch myself because otherwise I’ll feel guilty as hell. ANYWAY, my mother heard me breathing heavy while I was having *alone time* and made a comment insinuating that she knew what I was doing and made things extremely awkward. I’m even more self conscious now than I was before... idk what to think.

Someone please tell me it’s ok and healthy! I wish I had people in my life to help me see that I should be confident in being a normal operating human. I just wish I didn’t feel shame, and for what really I don’t particularly know...... help I’m so tired of it.

P.S. if you have kids, please be open with them about sex. My family being so hush hush really messed me up. I’m 23 and still feel like a shameful child being punished. This time being “caught” felt like punishment, the embarrassment and all. But usually I am the one punishing myself. Save them the agony and raise them being open and chill about it ❤️