Confused, frustrated and feeling emotional

So my husband and I have been ttc since March after a misscarige...I got my period last month and was hoping I wouldnt get one this month... My cycles are very irregular. So for the past week my nipples have been really sore, I've been having back pain and some cramps. Which I Don't ever get when I actually get my period. I took a hcg test strip yesterday and it came back negative. Tonight when I got to work I went to use the restroom and a small blood clot came out. Is this my period starting. I sure hope it isn't. I have a small pad on, but I'm not bleeding like when I get my period. I have a couple spots on it that are brown, and I'm feeling super bloated.. Again I dont get any of these when I do get my period. Should I just expect AF to show up? 😭💔💔