UPDATE: So today we ended up with more questions than answers. On Wednesday after our anatomy scan we were called and told that our baby girl may not have kidneys. So today we were sent to see a high risk dr to another “better” scan. Well they can’t say with 100% certainty that there are no kidneys as they don’t see the typical signs like no bladder and a fluid filled stomach. There’s a bladder type structure that’s irregular in shape and has a mass in it. The dr says he doesn’t know what the mass is but that in boys it could be an inverted urethra and in girls could be where her vagina and rectum didn’t separate. This then caused us to ask “well are we sure it’s a girl?” because we did the genetic testing for gender and it said girl. The dr said it’s highly unlikely that that testing would be wrong but not impossible but that he couldn’t confirm gender because he couldn’t see it. They also said that the baby has no fluid around her which makes it difficult but that they might see a kidney type structure on the left but don’t see a “normal kidney” and don’t really know about the left side and can’t tell on the right side if there’s a kidney because they can’t see that side due to how she’s laying. They even tried a vaginal ultrasound to see if they could see her right side and couldn’t. We were then also told today that she has a heart defect that’s causing backflow into a non pumping chamber. Everything so far in my pregnancy has been normal and fine. All of my ultrasounds have been normal and last month my fluid around her was fine. I’ve had no leaking or gushes so we don’t understand how that happened. She has been moving around just fine and her heart rate and heartbeat have been fine and nothing said about it until today. The dr today says that whatever this is is most likely lethal but that there’s a bunch of pieces not adding up to a diagnosis and he doesn’t know what it is. He says we can do a fetal mri but doesn’t know if it will give us anymore answers and then said that I can choose to deliver now or carry her until I deliver naturally and they’d do an autopsy at birth. We are going to do the mri and try to get every answer we can even if it means finding another dr and opinion. My pregnancy has been fine so far so we don’t under why any of this would’ve been missed on other ultrasounds and we refuse to give up on our little girl. I won’t sit here wondering what if and I won’t give up on her. As hard as it is to stay positive through all of this I have to pray that there will be a miracle and that this is a fluke and that she will be born healthy. As of right now she has a heartbeat and is moving. She is safe inside me and alive and I won’t give that up. I think in today’s age our technology can be a good and a bad thing. If this had been my mother’s pregnancy with me in the early 90s we would’ve assumed that baby was healthy and fine until there were physical signs that she wasn’t (preterm labor, bleeding, etc) so that’s what we are going to do. Treat her as if she’s fine, continue preparing for her, and loving her beyond all else. Has anyone else ever been told to give up and chose not to? How did you cope? Did you get your miracle? Here are the profile shots we got today of our girl.

I have my 20 week anatomy scan today. Baby was being difficult and wouldn’t show us gender (although we had the blood test done early on that said girl), she had her arms over her face, and they couldn’t get a profile shot due to how she was laying. We saw her heart beating, her moving her mouth, and they measured her femur and humerus and after googling the average length her measurements are normal for 20 weeks. The tech showed us a picture that was changing colors and was labeled as kidneys. However, about an hour after we left my OB called saying that the radiologist said they were unsure if they just couldn’t see her or kidneys or if she doesn’t have any at all (would be unsurvivable) and that the fluid around her looked low and therefore I’m being referred to a high risk dr to do another anatomy scan at the bigger hospital about an hour away. Has anyone else had this happen and their baby be fine? I’m praying that it was just how she was laying and not that she has no kidneys because the doctor says that’s not survivable. I’m a mess right now over this. I’ve attached the pictures the tech did give us (they’re not very good).