Idk what to think. Too scared to take a test.

I’m 4 days late for my period. I’ve got really bad baby fever.

My partner and I have been ttc for a while now to no avail. I just don’t know if I could take another let down. Having that test come back negative. I don’t think I could do it. I’ve had so many come back negative and it’s really starting to get to me, I just really want a son/daughter of my own.

Lately I’ve been looking after my 4 month old niece and it just makes me even more clucky, and everyone comments on how well I look after her, how well I cope and how well she does when she’s with me and also how much she adores me, and it makes me want my own so much more.

Is it bad to be jealous of mother’s? Is it bad that I crave having my own child?

I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to take a test because what if it’s negative again? But I’m the other hand I really do want for take it because what if it’s positive?

Please help me.