My husband and I have been together almost 7 yrs married for almost 2. We have been house hunting over a year now and we just haven’t found anything to suit our needs. My mother in law has offered to give us her paid off home now if we build her her own suite onto the house (living room, kitchenette, bedroom, bath). She’s older, 72 and is leaving the house to us anyway. She just can not afford to pay taxes and utilities anymore by herself. My husband and I and my college son would take the main house. My concern is she can be a little overbearing and if we do this there has to be boundaries. Along with building the addition we would also have to renovate the main home. (50 yrs of smoking in it everything needs to be painted, all carpets replaced, kitchen updated, and tons of minor repairs and a few not so minor). We estimate that we would be putting about 60k into it. I value my marriage immensely and we have the perfect relationship! Seven years and we are still best friends and can’t wait to spend time with each other. Sorry back to my concern. I don’t want to sink every dime we’ve saved up doing this for her to dictate how “her” house is run or remodeled. She is able bodied so it’s not like we have to take care of her. How do I explain to my husband that when and if we do this that her apartment is hers and the house would now be ours. I don’t want her coming in doing my dishes or laundry or rearranging my cabinets or cleaning my bathrooms etc. there has to be conditions and privacy. How do I say it without sounding like an ungrateful bitch or hurting someone’s feelings???