Hi ladies,

I really don’t know how to write this. It’s kinda weird to explain so just bear with me

Ever since I was 15 years old (recently 23), I have been ghosted by friends and dates and whatnot. First few times, I didn’t really understand what was happening and felt hurt but not much else. After those first few, I began to blame myself. I was annoying or weird or worthless or whatever sad thing I could reason was the only explanation. (Sidenote: the guys were trash who ghosted me because I didn’t put out on the first date or friends who pushed me away because their crush liked me. Not stellar people, but still bums you out if that makes sense)

My significant other has gone through a lot of heartbreak in his past relationship. He is scared to verbally say I love you or you matter because he is scared of admitting it and getting attached and then getting burned like he was in his last relationship. He will show that he cares in person through little things he does or actions. I know he loves me but I also know he is scared to admit it (we’ve only been together 4 months, so that doesn’t bother me too much).

What does bother me is his texting and how I perceive him to act when we’re not physically near one another. Every “sure” feels like he doesn’t care and every “okay” makes me feel like he’s about to ghost me and it’s his way of slowly dropping me and getting rid of me.

Before dating, we were both seeing different people and have remained best friends for almost 2 years now (2 years in February), helping each other through the heartbreak. I know he wouldn’t be here with me if he didn’t want to. But my mind keeps thinking the worst every time. He has told me 1000% that he is awful at texting and it’s something his sisters and mother jokingly complain about all the time. He’s just bad at it. We hang out in person and everything is fine, it was once again my mind tying to convince me otherwise.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is: Does anyone else ever feel this way? Has anyone been so burned by past friendships or relationships that they have trouble thinking rationally and calming down their minds? I hang out with my SO often because it calms my mind but I also don’t like hanging out with him too much because I don’t want him to feel I am needy or annoying (he constantly tells me I’m not annoying but I always feel I am because of past relationships and being hung out to dry by people who mattered to me)

I saw someone on Twitter the other day post “my girlfriend hasn’t text me all day so obviously she’s planning on breaking up with me. Or so my mind tells me to think”

I guess that best describes how I feel. Does anyone else ever feel like this? All the love.