Newfound blood disorder trait

My dr just informed me that I carry a blood disorder trait, which i honestly always knew I most likely carried just never bothered to confirm because its asymptomatic. In the past, my family practitioner and all of my family members (its genetic so my dad and sister have it too) rubbed it off as nothing. No further testing, no concern, no nothing, just a weird quirk of life for us. I have a beautiful healthy son with my husband and no one mentioned this to me throughout that pregnancy. Now they have changed their standard testing panel and they confirmed the trait and they are FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT!!!!! They are requiring my husband to get tested for it, because as it turns out, if we are both carriers the baby could have the disease and not just the trait which is similar to thalassemia in symptoms, requiring regular blood transfusions and other treatments. I am not worried because I have a healthy son with my husband and the odds of that if he is a carrier are totally insane but I do feel like the whole ordeal has taken the wind out of my sails and caused a LOT of stress. I am angry no one asked me to test this man BEFORE marrying him and having a baby, or before having a second pregnancy!!!! It just emphasizes that you HAVE to be your own advocate. I am upset they WANT me to be worried. I am 13 weeks and we still haven't told anyone about the pregnancy and are not going to until after we get my husband's blood panel back. Hoping for the best. And hoping my belly doesn't show before that point.