baby daddy

my daughters dad and I were never in a relationship but we have to co parent. usually we do great but only because I bend over backwards to make him happy so i can have my daughter when i want her on holidays. we have split custody and before now he has never really wanted to keep her(she will be 4 on 12-29-18) and now he wants her every other weekend and most holidays and everything. he has NEVER changed a diaper, doesnt know how to spell her name. doesn't install carseats safely ect...now that she is pretty independent and doesnt require allot of "help" he wants her and is threatening to take her on a holiday we had already agreed I would have her. I'm so angry and I legally cant do anything. it just hurts😥