Okay I wanna preface this by saying neither my boyfriend nor I find the other one controlling AT ALL but recently we had a friend make a comment so we were wondering about other viewpoints. We both go out and do things without the other person not every day but on occasion, we have mutual friends and then we have friends on our own, I met his personal friends and he’s met mine but we just dont all hang out together. Our personalities compliment each other really well, he’s slightly forgetful, I write everything down in my calendar. I’m able to make last minute plans or deal with a change in plans well, he hates to do things last minute and likes to know a set plan before.

Anyway, I was having lunch with my friend and she suggested we go somewhere after about an hour out of town and I was like yeah just lemme check with my boyfriend real quick to make sure it’s cool and she kinda scoffed and was like oh yeah call your dad and ask permission jokingly. I was like he’s not going to say no but I just wanna double check that he didn’t have anything planned without telling me or that we made plans. Sure enough he was like yeah sure go for it and off we went.

He does the same to me, we always check with the other before making plans. It’s not necessarily asking permission, I feel it’s just more out of respect to make sure there’s no plans we forgot or had a chance to discuss, maybe one of us has a surprise planned for the other etc. For us it’s just a courtesy but I can see how to an outsider looking in, it could be construed as controlling

Thoughts, discussion!