It’s hard to put into words how much I despise women who can get pregnant so easily. And I’m not meaning to be that hateful or ugly, but I can’t tell you how long I’ve always known I wanted kids and to have my doctor tell me it’s gonna be a difficult journey to motherhood has sent me spiraling down into depression.

I have to take progesterone because I don’t get periods. And my first dose of fertility medicine didn’t work either.

I’m on my second high dose of fertility medicine and I’m feeling more and more discouraged and depressed.

I always had a high sex drive and my husband has a very high sex drive and he just doesn’t understand my decrease sex drive and it depresses me even more.

To know I can’t give my husband a family of his own is just so hurtful and it makes me angry. I know there are plenty of kids in this world who deserves homes and yes we are also looking into adopting, but it also hurts to know that I will never know the feeling of giving birth, or breastfeeding. There’s just so much that you get when you have your own child that you will never get to experience with an adopted child.

I’m just so lost.