I don't want to be a military wife

So first of all yes, I am 18. I know I'm young but please bare with me. My fiancé and I have been together for three years. We love eachother very much. But I have a problem. I have a very long family history with family members in the military. It wasnt fun. Some would be gone for months on end and it left me with serious trauma. I have a hard time being alone for long periods of time now. My boyfriend wants to do national guard. Now I know compared to some of the big branches this is nothing, but it still terrifies the living hell out of me. He knows that I can't do it and I have in no means told him to leave his dream behind for me. Before really seriously dating I told him I wouldn't stick around when he leaves, I wasnt trapping him and gave full disclosure. He was fine with it. He left for basic in July, but came back two weeks later because of "medical problems." He told me it was my fault that he left basic. Because he was afraid I was going to leave him. In all honesty I had no plans on sticking around. I told him I didnt want this life, and I meant it. Now here is my question, he still really wants to go National Guard and I dont want to be the one to hold him back. What can I do? I'm not going to stay with him if he leaves but I dont want to be the reason he gives up his dream job. I'm just at a loss. Am I wrong for this?