I never wanted a girl

I found out I'm having a girl I'm disappointed because I really wanted a boy but I'm just really sad because I wanted a boy first so when I had a daughter she could have big brothers. But I just really didn't want a girl because my mom didn't treat me right she was very rude to me and made me have very low self esteem I don't really get along with females nor do I have a lot of female friends I'm just scared I won't love her like my mom didn't love me she treated my brothers way better than she ever treated me I just don't want to continue the cycle and now I'm just worried my daughter won't like me because I don't really care for my mother