Beginning of this year my father was diagnosed with cirrhosis(he wasn’t a drinker so don’t know what caused it). He went down hill this year fast. Sept 9th I lost him to sepsis, hardest thing I went through holding his hand and feeling his heart stop. 3 weeks later my grandfather on my step dads side of family became septic, had a stroke and passed away a week after I found we was expecting. But with all sadness and lost this year it’s like a heavenly blessing to have a new life growing. It won’t take away the pain I feel, actually pregnancy hormones have me crying more I feel. But I feel so blessed to be caring this life, only being 5wks and 4 days I love this child so much already. Praying for a smooth pregnancy and a calm heart through the holidays facing these first without a big part of my life missing.