We just got home from the ER. What started as a wonderful journey has turned to heartache. We miscarried. We are both so devastated. The Dr. was very kind, sat down and said I'm sorry we picked nothing up on the ultrasound and your levels are dropping. I couldn't look my husband in the face, I couldn't stand to see the pain and hurt. The Dr. went through what happened, and what to expect. But what they don't tell you is that even though there is no baby anymore, you still feel pregnant. You still feel the nausea, the sore breasts, still so emotional, still avoid smells and foods for at least another 3-6 weeks. You have so many overwhelming emotions, your sad, your angry and yes even a little spiteful at the friends or family that are pregnant now with their beautiful wonderful perfect baby bellies. How do you make this pain go away, how do you move past it and not expect the same outcome, time and time again, that you have become accustomed to. How do you stay hopeful, how do you stay strong in your faith? This is not the journey we wanted, this is the journey we got dealt. Life is so unfair sometimes, you try to piece together the whys and hows. You try and figure out exactly what you did to deserve this time and time again. I'm not sure if I have the strength in me to keep trying.