Desperate and feeling defeated

This last stretch of pregnancy is awful. I’ve measured a month or more ahead my entire third trimester and I am currently measuring almost 43 weeks. I am 39. I’m so tired. My body feels like it’s going to fall apart in pieces. I have tried everything to help my body progress or start labor but nothing has helped. Thursday I will be offered a sweep and I plan on refusing because I’m so scared I will have my baby the next day. My baby would share a birthday with someone in my husband’s family who is an awful human being. They already can’t let me hear the end of it. But this person is someone who I have to pray about because I absolutely cannot stand him in the least. He has made weird advances towards women in our family and his foul mouth disgusts me. I am prepared to sew my cooch shut for those 24 hours or willing to pay the doctors to write a different date if my little boy decides to come then. My heart and mind are in agony over this and I know my emotions are heightened but I am so fearful of this.