What the hell do i do with this man?

My husband was divorced once, his ex wife cheated on him. Its been 8yrs since their divorce. I saw on my husbands youtube that he liked a video speech about letting go of the past, cause its holding them back. Then, after that video, he liked a song, farewell and goodluck. About how, if they have to part ways, he will always still love and miss her til he die. He told me that if he could take her back, he would. But he has me and the kids already, so he doesnt need her anymore. He said it wasnt her fault she cheated. He just know it that it wasnt her intention. He says he loved her the most and thinks shes the best, because she was like Jesus to him. She made him feel better everytime he gets mad at her. But i cant do this shit to him. Shes also able to talk w him and keep the conversation going, he says she always talk to him. Unlike me. Well, i dont talk to him much, because he always get offended by what i say. And hed always ask me question like wth do i need to tell him this stuff? Whats the point of me telling him about this or that? I just dont know how the fuck she did it. And her husband posted on her fbook page, that she has no patience w anything, but shes great w the kids. So idk. I did stalk her. But this just pisses me off, like he uses me, until after we have so many kids, he tells me these shit. Its like he planned it. He trapped and dragged me into his hell hole. I made a mistake marrying him and giving him kids. Which i regret a lot. Idk what to do anymore.