Sensitive post for me.. 😪

I’ll be 20 by the time I have my baby. Working two jobs and paying all the bills on my own cause I don’t want any hand outs from anyone so I’d avoid people telling me my child and I are a burden on them. I was supposed to start college in January as a freshman but I chose that I wanted to dedicate all the time I could to my baby. So I’m putting college on hold rn until I feel comfortable enough and stable enough to where I can go to school and focus and maintain all this at the same time. I wish I had a mother rn to guide me when I need her the most but sadly my mother doesn’t even call to check up on me and has treated me horribly my whole life. And I just want to love my baby so much that my baby doesn’t haft to question it like I do from my own mother .. yes this made me cry but I want my baby to be my world. ❤️