Crying. Anxiety medications and pregnancy.

Hey guys. I am so upset and crying right now. I've posted a similar post before about my anxiety medications and being pregnant but I'm just melting down right now. I just cant seem to shut my mind down about this.

I have severe anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder and brain fog. I have been prescribed Zoloft, Xanax and clonazepam daily for the past 10 years. I know the xanax and clonazepam are class D drugs during pregnancy.

I'm so worried about all of it. About the potential harm for my unborn baby, about the possibility of having to come off my medications during my pregnancy. Its keeping me up, its racing through my head all day non-stop, and its all making me so depressed. And the thought of being off my medication is in itself causing horrible anxiety. Before my treatment I wasnt able to work or cope with normal life activities. I know that if I have to come off Xanax (which is apparently the worst one for pregnancy) I would have to quit work. I wouldn't be able to function daily as I do now. I have so much fear of the unknown racing through my thoughts non stop.

I have my first prenatal visit this Thursday and an appointment with my psychiatrist the beginning of January. So thats why I'm posting here. Its just constantly weighing on my mind until then.

I've stopped all of my anxiety medications except for the xanax as I know I cannot stop that one cold turkey without withdrawal because I've been on it so long. And honestly I'm afraid of discontinuing it because I would have to quit my job which I cant afford to do. And my quality of life would go back down to where it was 10 years ago. I know I sound so selfish.

I feel so hopeless and scared and lost and sad and guilty. I'm having thoughts of why did i even stop my birth control to begin with when I knew that I needed to be medicated to function in my life. I wish I could turn off my anxiety and just be normal. I'm trying to calm down and hope for the best possible outcome at my appointment but my thoughts just wont let me. I dont know what to do.

Thanks to anyone reading this and please send prayers and positive vibes my way.