My Out of body birth experience

So, Even though nobody cares about my birth story, I’ll put it here. It feels good to talk about it 😋

So, a little back story...So I’m a ftm, and I chose to go through a birth center not an OBGYN, and my midwife kept telling me that I was going to be late, bc most ftm are. But I ignored them and thought that for some reason I would be different. So I started getting a lot of BH at like 30 weeks, and was on bed rest to slow things down. So I’m thinking like, yeah for sure I’m giving birth early. Just gotta make it to 37 weeks. So I’m miserable on bed rest for so long, until one day I start getting contractions. I decided to go to my moms house to “labor.” It hurt really bad for like 5 hours, then is slows down. This happened every day for like a month. And at my birth center appointments, they checked me and I was dilated to a 4 and halfway thinned. So my husband and I moved in with my mom thinking we were giving birth soon, but it turns out I was in early labor for 4 weeks. It was so miserable.

NOW FOR THE DAY OF- so in the middle of the night when I was 41 weeks and 5 days pregnant, my water finally broke, and that is nasty y’all. They say it doesn’t smell like anything, but for me that is a straight up myth. It smells strongly of semen to me 🤢 it was very uncomfortable. So I just try to sleep the rest of the night as good as I can until the morning. I go to the birth center that day and I’m only to like a 4 and a half or 5, so they send me home with a tincture to swish in my mouth every 30 minutes. So gross. My contractions really rev up at this point, and I was just laboring in my moms bathroom (which is huge) in this pink fuzzy chair she has. It was the perfect angle to ease the pain a little. I kept shaking in pain and I threw up it was so intense. And at this point, my bowels were like yeet...I pooped between contractions every time. lol. Yuck. Then we finally go back to the birth center and I’m at like a 7 thank goodness. So I can stay!!!! They get me in a birth suit and start to fill up the tub. I labor for awhile and finally decide to get in. I’m telling you guys, sweet relief. Kind of. I mean it’s still excruciating labor but any kind of relief is a Godsend. So while I had natural labor in a bathtub, it got so intense that I feel like to cope, my body like separated my consciousness from itself. So I was like watching myself from the outside kind of. I was having conversations with myself, inside myself, if that makes any sense. And I couldn’t really talk out loud which was weird and scary. But at a point my other self inside my head started audibly comforting myself. Lol so I was rubbing my own thigh saying “you’re okay sweetie, you’re doing a great job, it’s going to be okay”. Everyone in the room said they were like “ummm is she okay”. But, like the woman warrior I am, I pushed through (I pushed for 30 minutes, and didn’t tear at all) and gave birth to the most perfect little bean. 😭

Ruger Dahlberg Stolhandske

7 pounds 14 ounces

21 inches long

BTW, my DH sat in this nasty pot of vaginal labor yuck the whole time with me. What a champ.

Now this is him two months later ❤️

Sorry that was so long, if you actually read this, I appreciate it. It feels good to talk about it ❤️