It really breaks my heart/ Have you ever felt where your baby/child was always left out from the family?

Question

I have a 10 MO boy son. One of my sister-in-laws has a 10MO girl she has hit her milestones more then my son. She has about 5 teeth crawls everywhere stands up and everything. My son doesn’t yet he moves lays down sits up and that’s about it. He doesn’t want to crawl yet. But I will hold him and he will take steps and walks if you hold him. Well my husband has a big family. Every time we’re together I see the difference how they treat my son and treat the other baby they hold her and they will say good compliments of how she crawls and everything and she doesn’t cry. But when it comes to my son they done even pay attention to him they don’t hold him or anything all they say is he cries a lot. And I really see the difference there was a point where it hurt me that I wanted to cry because his just a baby of course I want the same attention the baby gets as my son they’re just babies And i love my son and my niece it just hurts me how they treat her with so much love and hold her. And my son is left out. I just feel like I’m going to stop hangin out with everyone less cause you can tell everyone can tell it’s so obvious when we’re all together 😞☹️
Idk what to do has this happened to you?

Answer

That's really sad, and disgusting of them. Smh. I would have been stopped coming around if I was in that situation, children develop at different rates, that doesn't make your son less than the other child.

Answer

That’s really sad, I’m sorry they’re treating him differently. That’s not fair at all. All babies are different and all babies grow differently, your family needs to understand that. I would have a serious talk with them and explain your concerns. It can be very damaging to a child to be treated differently like that. I’m sure your son is a happy healthy boy who is just at his own pace.

Answer

They got me fucked up. My mom went through this with me :-( my family is still like this til this day and i was always searching for that love even sometimes this year when i think about it. The permed my hair and it fell out and cut inches off of it. My mom lost it. But her love has kept me so strong and now i have that love in my man and a new extended none blood family. Im very empathetic to people who are lonely now

Answer

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! I know exactly how frustrating it is. I don’t have much advice. We’ve basically just decided not to take our child around them often because she doesn’t need to feel like it’s a competition for Nana’s love. 
My daughter is the “second place” grandchild. My MIL is not my husband’s bio mother, and she plays favorites with her children, too. Her bio daughter has ALWAYS been the favorite. My MIL will talk about my SIL’s son at my daughter’s age and how she used to send packages to him every week and call him every day because he lived a few states away, and video chatted often so she didn’t miss any milestones. 
We live 15 minutes down the road and she doesn’t do much as send a text asking how my daughter is, let alone visit or ask to see her or anything.
My SIL lives in town now, and my MIL took a week off work to be there for his first week of school and drop him off, but “couldn’t make” my daughter’s first birthday. Now it’s Christmas time and I’ve gotten 3 reminders that my 20 month old who is speech delayed better not ruin Santa for the 6 year old! And by the way, we’re “mean” for not doing Santa in our house but it’s like. You wake up at 6 AM to watch him open presents from “Santa” but I guarantee even if we did teach our daughter about Santa you wouldn’t leave him to watch our kid open her presents so what does it matter to you?! 🙄🙄

Answer

That'd very not nice of them. Every child is different, absolutely, personality, every child learns things differently, at the right time for their own, when they are ready. I wouldn't push too much either. I would be just like see you all later. Also growth pains can cause them crying and teeth come different pains, understanding of the world. I would just not communicate with them much and say whatever. You are too busy. You don't need that negativity in your life. Your child is one of a kind. Just like mine or someone else's.

Answer

I don’t think they mean any harm. Does he have separation anxiety? If I went to hold a child that screams to be back with mom or dad - I wouldn’t try again... The girl might just be better with different people so it’s easy to hold her. Also, I think you’re taking the milestones to heart. People get excited when babies get teeth, crawl, start standing, etc. it just so happens she’s hitting them first... Are they not supposed to get excited for the girl because your son hasn’t started doing some of those milestones? No - that’s ridiculous! I’m sure when he starts hitting some of these milestones they’ll be excited for him too! If they are NOT then maybe distance yourself.

Answer

Maybe the relationship with the mother is different than the relationship with you. I personally would be more attentive and affectionate to my female cousins babies, more so than my males because of the relationship with their wives.   I just wouldnt be so sensitive,  you might be overthinking it

Answer

It sounds to me like maybe they don’t hold him or interact with him as much because he cries when they do. I’m sure he’ll grow out of that and they’ll pay him more attention when he gets a little bit older.

It really breaks my heart/ Have you ever felt where your baby/child was always left out from the family?

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