Turned off and dried out

I am utterly repulsed by the thought of having sex with my SO of 3 years. We’ve had sex multiple times b4 and while admittedly, he’s far from the best I’ve ever had [performance wise as well as penis size] my SO responds well to feedback on his performance. I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve been the one to initiate sex. Okay maybe 2 hands but that’s a stretch😕. All other times he initiated or begged for it. He’s not very smooth. He’s kinda needy and dorky but that’s one of the reasons he stole my heart!

Anyway recently I realized I’m not turned on by him. His kisses, his embrace, his sexual talk, his scent, none of it even sparks up a tingle down there😐. All things that used to turn me on at least a little. He likes to eat me out, and he will offer/ask to go down on me but I refuse because I’m not interested and him bringing it up in the first place makes me cringe.

I find now that I am interested in being smooth talked. I’m interested in sexy smooth foreplay that leads to hot and steamy sex! I am interested in masculinity and strength, an appropriate dose of dominance. I haven’t had that in a very long time.

I feel bad for being repulsed by the idea of sex with my own SO. I’m not interested in cheating, I mean I love this man but I have unfortunately lost sexual attraction towards him😞