Mom isn’t sex positive?

Question

My mom would be considered a progressive forward thinker by most. She told me to wait as long as I possibly can to have sex for the first time because I have my whole life ahead of me. I took this to heart and now refuse to have sex with my bf I’ve had for a year (I’m 16, he’s 17), because I’m afraid of the shame and guilt I’ll feel. Was it wrong if her to give this advice?

Answer

Um no? She doesn’t want you to end up pregnant or heartbroken bc you couldn’t wait to have sex. How is she “wrong” for that?

Answer

No lmao I wouldn’t want my daughter to have sex either so why would I encourage it?. You’re still young. She doesn’t want you to end up pregnant

Answer

Why would any mother encourage her teenage daughter to have sex?...
She wants you to wait until you’re mature. She sounds like a great mom.

Answer

Nope, not wrong of her at all. She's looking out for your best interest and having sex at a young age is not in your best interest. You obviously know about the risks of pregnancy and STDs and such. Now imagine she didn't tell you, you start having sex at 14 and then you end up pregnant. No one wants that (well, no one in their right mind at least).
You were good to take her advice to heart. When do you have sex, just be safe. She's not saying don't ever have it ever and you'll be a terrible person if you do.

Answer

Sex can lead to very adult consequences so what she says is absolutely correct. You have your whole life to be an adult.
If you feel this way, it means you aren’t ready.  You’ll know when you’re ready, and don’t let any guy try to convince you otherwise

Answer

Im going to give some advice since everyone else's is shitty. Consider me a progressive thinker. If you were my daughter, i would want you to tell me your feelings and if you were thinking about it. I would talk to you about how sex changes things and can complicate feelings. I would ask you what you thought about getting on birth control and i would tell you about safe sex. No parents want to think of their babies having sex with someone. It means they are growing up and opens up a lot of new(possibly scary) doors. While i dont think shes wrong, if shes progressive like you say im sure she would want you to go to her and talk to her about how you feel. I had sex when i just turned 15. I didnt think of it as all of that and honestly didnt change me at all. I found out later my bf had been cheating on me and it wasnt until then that my heart broke into a million pieces. I dont regret it though. Im glad i have more experience and was able to learn more about sex with different partners. Of course you can wait til marriage but im a firm believer in test driving a car before purchasing it. I would feel way uncomfortable having sex on my wedding night. But of course its up to you. I hope your bf isnt pressuring you to have sex. Only do it if your ready and make sure you wear a condom. If hes pressuring you, leave him. You can lose your virginity when YOU want and he can just deal with it. Boys that age are just horny

Answer

Girl. Sex positive does not and hopefully will not ever mean "encourage your young daughter to have sex". I mean you can do what you want but I really don't understand why you were shocked to hear this from your own parent

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You need to be safe and think about al the possibilities. If he left you immediately after would you be okay? Are you ready for a little awkwardness and are you comfortable enough with him to do it? I think you just need to make sure you are 100% ready for yourself. If you weren’t with him would you still be wanting to have sex? Make sure it’s for the right reasons and you’re not feeling pressured or guilty!

Answer

Your mom told you something right. And this should make you think about WHY you feel guilty and stuff. I mean she told you to wait as much as you can, but if you were SO READY you wouldn’t think about it twice. 
She gave you amazing advice that you should follow, and have sex only when you’re ready. Being with a person for over a year doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have sex with them. You’re still very young and have plenty of time. xx

Answer

No, she’s doing her job as a mother. She wants to protect you not only from unplanned pregnancy and STDs, but heartbreak too I’m assuming. I agree with her. I lost my virginity to someone I was with for 8 months and never heard from him again after that 🙃 Making someone wait will also show you their character. If they pressure you or become upset that you aren’t ready then that isn’t the kind of person you want to be with anyways.

Mom isn’t sex positive?

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