So MIL gift getting...what would you do?... long post warning

My MIL and FIL haven’t included us in Xmas for the last 3 years. And have not spent anytime with my kids ( or my husband )for years. Don’t even wish them Happy birthday, don’t ask how they’re doing, doesn’t contact them in anyway ( unless they really need something).They have maybe seen us 3 times this year and it’s been a fluke. My MIL is so used to getting her way. She’s very manipulative and extremely passive aggressive. She doesn’t take it kindly if she doesn’t get her way. So about Xmas, I used to have Xmas with my family on Xmas eve per tradition since I was a child. It was the one day a year my divorced parents and all my siblings would be brought together. But all of a sudden my MIL states she wants Xmas on Xmas eve so I try to compromise but she wouldn’t budge so I missed out for a couple years with my family on Xmas. So then 3 years ago my parents died, my husband and I decided for now on we would spent Xmas day as a family, just us and the kids. And we weren’t going to drag the kids out all over. I started asking my MIL is September when she would have Xmas ( because it wasn’t the same time every year) and she’d say she didnt know. So in September is when we started telling our family that we wouldn’t be going anywhere for Xmas day only so please keep this in mind when planning Xmas get togethers. This really wasn’t something new bc there were only so many places we would go. We also stated we would welcome all visitors on Xmas day but we wouldn’t be going out. We asked my MIL many times up til the weekend before Xmas when Xmas was and she’d still say she hasn’t made plans. I thought that was weird. So then on Xmas day my husbands sister and nieces who are children would text him asking him to leave his wife and kids to come to the party. His sister would try and manipulate him and make him feel bad and saying he made his mom cry and so on. We were not even made aware of any Xmas plans. We were not invited. This was kind of devastating to us. They have always accommodated his siblings over the years with all their plans. But my MIL likes to try and control my husband and she doesn’t like to be told she can’t to something. She will act out in spite. So anyway, fast forward to just year 2018. None of my in-laws have spent a single day with my family. Never called. Never wished the kids or husband Happy Birthday. Nothing. Last year we weren’t even invited. We found out they had a party when they posted pics on FB. So now they’re having Xmas again on Xmas day and acting like we’re assholes for not coming. We’ve expressed that we would love to come but any day but Xmas day would due. Well now it’s tradition they say. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and up til the last 3 years they have never had Xmas on Xmas day. I think if it was important to them that we are there then they would make it so we could come and if it’s not important then they won’t. What makes me mad now is that my husband wants to buy his parents gifts as an olive branch. My first response was that it’s very nice of him but now I’m stewing and I’m pissed. I don’t think they deserve shit. They obviously dont care about us or our children why would we buy them gifts?! Last year was the first year I stopped buying gifts and not just for Xmas. I used to take my MIL flowers and gifts for her bday and Mother’s Day. Not my husband, ME. Ive look back and I’ve have always been over the board kind to these people but I’ve never received any love or much kindness in return just fake smiles. I don’t understand it. They have always treated my husband and our family like were 2nd class family members. My heart hurts bc of this. My mom was so loving, affectionate, and considerate and a very involved grandma. My kids essentially lost all all their grandparents that day. My husband and I feel the same about his family. I think they make him feel guilty for not coming on Xmas that he feels he needs to buy them gifts. None of his family are close to him. The only time we see them is when we bump into them at Walmart and smile and wave. So ........ would you buy them gifts for Xmas ? Would it be terrible for me to tell my husband I don’t think he should buy them anything? It’s all up to him but....