I'm so lost and hopeless
The past few days have been absolutely rough. I feel like I am just barely holding on to my relationship but to my boyfriend I'm not even trying.
(Back story:) him and I met in April, on Instagram, and when we met it was like love at first sight. I knew I loved him and I knew he loved me. We hung out for an entire month and then he left me. I was beyond hurt. I felt lost and sad. Fast forward a few months to June and he wants to hangout and start talking again. Because he said he realized I was the one. We decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend July 1st. I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks later. Things had been great. We moved into our first 3 bedroom(I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship) he had a great job making good money and I was working and going back to school and we were on the right track to a perfect life. But the past 2 months have been rough. He lost that good paying job and was forced to work at an old job he had. He talks to me about how he doesn't feel motivated to get out of bed to go to work because he doesn't want to work. He thinks working to live is dumb (i do agree but we have to do it)
We fight about my attitude(mind you I am pregnant). I do have an attitude and when i get mad i say the dumbest things but i love this man more than anything else. He wants me to try and change the way I react when I get mad. Totally fine with that. I agree whole heardtly about that. But he thinks when he talks to me about that stuff that it's going in one ear and out the other, like I dont care. No matter how much I tell him I care.
We also fight about sex. I think that's the worst thing to fight about. He thinks he deserves a blow job no matter how I am feeling. And if he doesn't get what he wants he gets mad and throws fits about me not giving him what he wants when he deserves it. He also likes to state that he goes above and beyond for me but wont give me a back rub because i dont deserve it. Or when we fight and I'm bawling my eyes out his solution is to say "let's have sex". I tell him I'm not in the mood and to have sex right now I need help getting in the mood. That sets him off because he shouldn't have to put me in the mood to have sex with me. All i need is him to cuddle me and hold me and love me. I feel like i am too much and i just dont know what to do.
I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and we broke up because of all this. What do I do? Do I just move on and find my happiness in my children or do I try to make it work with him? (If he even wants to talk to me again)
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