My boyfriend and I got into a fight this morning and he told me how he truly feels after he’s been telling me he doesn’t care this whole time and it really hurt...

Long story short I had a baby 4 months ago . It’s my first baby and I suffer from anxiety . Since baby it’s been worse and I feel depressed...some days it’s really bad . I lay in bed most of the day . I just want to stay there . I don’t want to do anything ever . I don’t eat . I’m always tired during the day but when baby is sleeping at night I’m wide awake until 1-2am for no reason . Sometimes I force myself to go downstairs but when I do I just lay on the couch . I have no energy ever . I struggle to clean I struggle to cook I struggle to do anything . I try my hardest and feel so so horrible about myself because I can’t do it sometimes . I cry very often . I get overwhelmed . I feel sick daily . I question if I really want this . I don’t regret having my daughter...but I sometimes think it’s not what I want and if I could go back in time I wouldn’t have got pregnant . I don’t always feel like this tho . I question our relationship sometimes too . I just question everything . I’m starting to ignore my daughter when she cries sometimes or getting upset because I’m so frustrated .

Often we eat out . I do the laundry but I don’t put it away...at least right away . It stays in the hamper for a while (but it is clean) The house is really messy because its hard to keep up with it and I’m tired and again have no energy. Especially my boyfriend will leave his things around and not clean up after himself (pop cans, wrappers, clothes, etc. he will literally eat in bed and throw the garbage on the floor?) he comes home from work and smokes weed the whole time . We don’t eat dinner together . We don’t go to bed together . Nothing . I wasn’t like this before baby . I loved cooking and was very clean . But lately I can’t .

Fast forward to today ...

He was looking for something to wear because we were going out and we just started arguing . He said why does he never have clothes . He said I always wear his clothes (because they’re comfy😂 but I couldn’t believe he was MAD about that?) he said I need to get over my baby brain that I’m stupid and don’t make sense . He said there’s shit everywhere . He said that he goes to work every day and does his job , and that I need to do my job . That his dad never cleaned the house once . He knows I’m sensitive to this because I keep talking about how it makes me feel that I feel like I’m not doing anything and he told me he doesn’t care and that I’m doing enough by taking care of our daughter . He told me that he’s going to leave me soon . He can’t handle this .

I started crying and told him to leave me alone . He kept trying to talk to me . I told him I don’t want to talk to leave me alone . He kept nagging and getting upset until eventually he started screaming and hitting shit . He broke some things and hurt his hand . He does this sometimes and freaks out and it scares me because my dad used to hit me . My boyfriend has never hit me before , but it still makes me nervous . He wants to talk . But I don’t want to . I’m still so upset . I feel like he constantly ruins my mood . I don’t believe I have postpartum because I don’t feel like this everyday! Some times I cook, sometimes I clean , sometimes I’m happy . But other times (most days) I can’t do anything but lay in bed and I’m not happy . He even told me I’m miserable all the time . What should I do ? Any advice ?