Reverse Dear John Minus the Letter? +update

Hey guys. So I need some help/advice. First let me tell you a story.

So a little over a year ago this mans and I matched on tinder and started talking, quickly taking it to text. I think really vibes with each other and talked about pretty much everything. He told me stuff he had never told anyone else before. A few weeks after we started talking, we went on a date. It was Halloween time so he took me to a haunted house and this man spent so much to get the VIP tickets. I was shook. We had some good conversation in line, which was surprising because I’m such an awkward person. Despite how anxious I was, he somehow made me feel comfortable. So we go through the haunted house and he holds open all the little hangy down things for me, which I found very sweet. He offered to hold my hand through this one part that smooshes you with air bags because I’m not the biggest fan of being touched, but I declined because I was so nervous. Fast forward to the end of the night, we stand by my car talking for a little bit and he tries to get me to take a walk with him, which again I decline because I’m just meeting this mans and I’m a cautious person. He also asks if I want to go get a drink or something but it was really late and I had a long ride home and had already had enough anxiety for the night so I declined. He asks if I would want a kiss, because I hadn’t even had my first kiss yet at the time, to which I refused because again, I’m awkward af. Instead we hug and say our goodbyes. That night, he texts me about how he had a good time and would like to take me out again. After that night, we continued talking and discussing going out again, but I was in the nitty gritty of the semester and just could not find the time. Somewhere in this time period I had a little insecurity fit on him because I had never been on a date with anyone or felt that strong of a connection with someone. Before we had even went on the date, I knew he had signed up for the Marines and somewhere in this time (I have the timeline confused but it’s not really what matters) he does his testing and enlists. He isn’t sure when he’s going to have to leave for basic, but he decides we should just keep things platonic because he’ll be leaving soon for a few months. I think I freaked out on him a little bit for leading me on, which I feel bad about now because it had been on the table since the beginning that he would most likely be away for a while. After that, we didn’t really talk much but he ends up finding out that he’s going to have to leave a lot sooner that anticipated. On one of the nights of my finals week, I get a text from him that he’s about to leave and that he won’t be able to talk for 13 weeks. I wish him so much luck and we leave things as friends, and he promises to text me when his basic is over.

Fast forward to now. I never got that text, and it’s been over a year since he last texted me. I know he probably has his reasons and probably didn’t forget about me but I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that happened, how insecure I was about everything, and how much I’ve changed in the last year and regret how things went down. I’m at the point where if anything I would love to be his friend because we just clicked so much and he was just so easy for me to talk to, which is hard for me to come by because I’m so introverted. He never judged me for anything and any differences we had we always discussed respectfully. He never made any unwanted sexual comments or advances towards me. When I apologized for not letting him hold my hand, he was so sweet about it. He even told me he wanted to take me on a walk so we would be somewhere more private if we were to kiss. He was just so respectful towards me unlike any guy I’ve ever talked to before. I’m at a loss right now. I’ve been reflecting on how great this man is and how strong of a connection I felt to him, and I’m realizing how much I miss him. I want to text him but I am terrified. There’s been nights where I’ve come so close but just can’t find the right words to say. Any advice on whether or not I should contact him and what I should say if I do? I’m just so confused. If you read all of this, thank you so much.

UPDATE: Okay guys so I texted him on Christmas and wished him a merry Christmas and said that I hoped he was doing well. He never responded. I’m bummed, to say the least, but trying to look at it positively.