Christmas blues

I've not got a lot of money this year. All of my money got stopped because of an error on the system. I know Christmas isn't about the presents, but I still get a lump in my throat thinking about how little I've got. My partner had his shifts cut, and has had to pay my bills, so between us we've not had much money to get anything. Not even for our 3 year old.

I know my partner has got me 2 presents. One from him, and one from our Son. We've managed to get our Son a night light, because recently he started getting scared of the dark, and a small box of cheap cars. I keep looking for other cheap things I could get for our Son, just so he's got a few more things to open, but our town is small and I don't have the money to go to the city to look round there.

All I've managed to get for my partner is a pen, and he doesn't write often. He mostly uses computers, but I thought it would be nice for him to have a nice pen to sign things with. I was lucky enough to get cheap engraving on it, so it has his name on, but I still wish I could do more.

My Partner and Son deserve the world and so much more. They mean everything to me, and I can't do anything nice for them. I can't even cook a nice meal for my partner on Christmas day because he has to work.