Waiting but not for marriage

My boyfriend and I were making out last night and he’s kinda kinky he’d be kissing my neck and then he’d start licking my neck and then nibbling on my neck and it’s such a turn on and I really want to have sex but it scares me bc I was raped a while back and I don’t want to him bc I don’t want him to think I’m damaged and it’s sorta brand new relationship and he slept over last night and he did like all my turn ons but when he wanted to I had to be like “this is new I dont want to have sex yet I want you to love me before we have sex” and he was annoyed but was very understanding I just want to have sex and get past the rape but it’s difficult for me