Lost In Space

Hey guys!

So I’m in high school and I want a boyfriend but the task is much more difficult to achieve than I thought. Some guys talk to me but they are almost always short (I’m 5’7”) , or sort of boring and don’t ever really get past the friendzone. I’m completely invisible which makes no sense bc I’m a very unique person and sort of hard to ignore. I think I’m very pretty but I guess that is my opinion, but this lack of attention and overall invisibility has me second guessing my looks. I guess I’m just too ugly to land one idk. I’m teachers pet in all 7 of my classes so I guess people see me as an egghead? I don’t really understand. The most action I get is some random holding the door but most just let it slam in my face or push me out of their way like I’m some backpack in the way. I came from homeschool and this is my first year back in regular school since 3rd grade but almost no one knows or cares that I’m brand new. My school is weird and it seems as if no one is willing to talk to people they don’t already know. People tell me to just walk up and say hi but everyone is in their circle of friends so I feel weird like as if someone walked up to your dinner table at a restaurant and just pretended to be part of the group that wouldn’t go over well.

I just want a guy who will care about me and can have some good conversations, he doesn’t have to be drop dead gorgeous, in fact I’d prefer if he looked a little dorky (he only need to be sexy in my eyes lol) but overall just a good personality and can meet my emotional needs. Most of all a guy who can dominate me so I don’t have to plan every god damn thing. A guy who can just say “we’re gonna do this today ditch your plans” and take charge. Just a guy who can love me and be a man for Christ sake! These aren’t tall orders!! I’m especially low on self esteem lately bc my friend just got a bf so I feel like a third wheel.

Someone help I don’t know what’s wrong with me, why am I never good enough or hot enough? Are my goals unattainable? I swear even when I settle for short dumpy guys they are calling me asking for advice about some other “hotter chick” which really makes me feel horrible. Sorry for the long post.