Today I am 12 weeks 6 days with my first. We lost my grandma yesterday at the age of 85. My husband and I were both very close with her and I used to be the strong one but with this pregnancy I've been a reck. I'm having the hardest time accepting the fact that she's gone and the hardest time holding back tears. I announced my pregnancy with a phone call to her on Sunday because she wasn't feeling good and I knew she wasn't going to be coming on Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. Even with my pregnancy I left work early the second I found out that she had gone to the hospital on the 26th. With a mask and gloves i was the first one there so that she wouldn't be alone. The 27th she seemed more alert so with my husband by my side we got to show her my ultrasound videos. She signed that the heart beat sounded like a big drum, and that it was moving enough to be in a circus. She also thinks that it's going to be a girl.

I didn't go see her yesterday because I had a feeling and felt that it would be too hard. But it's hard no matter what. I wish that she was here to help me with the baby room, and I wish I could have her here to help me make costumes as our little one gets older. It's just too hard. RIP Grandma