To explain the pregnancy, we took a break for a month & I got drunk & had a one night stand with an old friend with mine. I ended up getting back with current bf a few days later. None of it was expected or planned and I found out I was pregnant a month later. The dates are really confusing. He said he’s not mad about that and isn’t resentful, said he’s not irritated at me about anything. Even when his friends have asked him because they have spoken out against him because of his controlling and abusive behavior. I’ve spoken to 2 exes of his and they say he was this way with him too.

Excuse my language & my hostility in this rant. I’m FED UP.

I met this guy, wow, a real cowboy. Super sweet, laid back, manners, a true gentleman. After a while of dating, I move in with him. I left my apartment, my job, my friends, everything, to move 2 hours away & be with him. It was like as soon as that door shut, he was a whole different person.

He knew who I was before we moved into together, he knew who my friends were, he knew my beliefs, he knew my ideas, my goals, everything. Suddenly, I have to delete all my guy friends. I’m not allowed to be friends with guys even though I’m honest & am completely appropriate with them. He’ll freak out if a guy friend messages me asking me how I am, etc. he’ll make snippy remarks about my “boyfriends”, even though he has access to my phone & when I make a comment about it he’ll say “I’m just joking”. Or when we go see his family or are going to Walmart or something he’ll say “do me a favor and try not to wear any slutty clothes” or something along the lines of me being “slutty” and when I get upset he’ll say “I’m just kidding”. I don’t wear slutty clothes, nothing I haven’t worn around my family and My parents are conservative & would’ve said something if my clothes were inappropriate.

And then my kids. I’ve made clear my kids come first, always have and always will. He dislikes my oldest, he doesn’t say it but I can tell. She’s 3 and will say “hi or hey” over an over until she gets your attention. I’ve told him she needs patience and love. She’s 3, she doesn’t understand. He gets irritated & complains about her all the time which makes me mad because she comes first & no man will disrespect my kids. It’s like he’s always trying to get her into trouble. If she’s watching YouTube on his phone (that he allows) he’ll make snide remarks about how she better not break his phone because he can’t afford a new one or if she does accidentally drop it like 2 inches, he’ll freak out & complain. I’ve told him if he had a problem, then he can kick rocks because my kids will always be worth more to me than this relationship. And the only reason she uses his phone is because he takes the tv and plays video games on it all day and leaves her without anything to watch.

I’ll be honest, I’m pregnant & there’s a possibility that this may not be his baby. He knows. I didn’t cheat on him if anyone’s wondering. He on the other hand, has still been friends with his exes and quite social with them, even deleting his fb search and social media stuff because he”doesn’t want to get yelled at for looking up his exes or other girls”. He’s not ready for kids, he’s not ready for this life.

My plan is to get my tax return, get a new car & leave him. I’ve been living in this new town for about a month, I’m still searching for a job. But once I get a job, I’m gonna look for really cheap apartments or apply for low income housing. I’m completely done with him, he’s no good for us. He jumped out of my car after hitting my dashboard. I haven’t even let him meet my parents because I don’t plan on this being anything more than what it already is. I have such animosity towards him. I have no respect for him. I don’t even like for him to touch me, kiss me, anything.

Other things he’s done:

- talk shit about me to his boss & coworkers at work. (His boss told me & I saw the text messages).

- he told his family I was pregnant with HIS kid even though he knows there’s a slim chance it could be his so now his family is excited.

- he told his boss & his coworkers I pushed him out of the car. Even though I have text messages from him where he can admit to ME he lied & said that & promises to tell everyone he lied, he refuses to tell everyone the truth

- if I say I don’t want to have sex, he’ll make me feel like shit.

- he loves dip bottles all over the house, he doesn’t clean up after his self, hell use something up & not tell me or get more.

- he lost his job & refuses to look for another one.

- he lied to me when we first met and said he was my age, had a job, had a vehicle. He lied about it all. He did get a job a few days after we met, but told me his friends truck was his & his age. Didn’t learn the truth til after we moved in together.

I’m starting to ask who the fuck did I get with?! Because the man I dated for months and months & Months...clearly isn’t this guy.