When I was 14, I used to go over to my cousins house a lot. She is married and has kids with her husband. At nights after her and the kids would go to sleep, her husband would give me alcohol and get me drunk. At that time I thought it was cool that I could drink there but things got weird.

When I turned 15 he started becoming weirdly touchy with me while I was drunk. One night he touched my butt under my pants and underwear. Soon after that incident he started to touch me “there” and kiss my neck. I was drunk every time.

It happened and I let it. I had never had a boy touch me like that before. But it felt good so I let him. He told me what we were doing was okay.

One night he asked me if I was a virgin and I said yes. He said he could take my virginity for me so I could “get it sober with” (I was drunk during this conversation) and I said i don’t know.

Not long after that, he got me really drunk one night. He took me outside and bent me over and we had sex on the side of his house. I never said no. I was 15 and he was in his 30’s.

It’s been years and I want to die when I think about it. How fucked up i must’ve been in the head to let him do that to me.

His 13 year old daughter recently told her mom that she woke up to him touching her down there. I believe her.. that’s why all of this is being brought up again. They want to bring him to court (Her mom and my cousins husband are divorced) and I think my testimony could help. But I don’t know if it was rape or not since I never said no..