Diagnosed today. Freaking out.

TRIGGER WARNING for Mental health issues and SH.

So I just had my one hour test today. Sugars were 228. Meet with someone next week. I’m 29 weeks along and for the last few days I had been obsessively worrying about GD and blood sugar checks and insulin. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it, tbh. I feel like doing them will trigger some pretty intense self harm thoughts and urges and I’m terrified. I’m 13 months clean after battling it as an addiction for around 10 years.

I can’t fuck this up again. I’ve never gone this long. I don’t know what to do.