Would you be upset if S/O said they don't need you?

Question

We've been together 3 years, had a baby in November. We got into a disagreement and I asked him if he even needed me anymore. He very adamantly said he has never nor never will need anyone including me. My first instinct was to be hurt but I'm honestly not sure if I should be. Opinions?

Answer

I probably wouldn’t get upset by that because as an adult I would hope he didn’t need me and I know it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want me, but that’s just me

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I feel strongly about need VS want. Like he chooses you everyday. To me that's way more valuable than needing someone. Maybe he struggled with codependency at some point before you. Hope that helped

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My SO and I don’t need each other. We want each other around, we every day make the choice to be by each others side. We could both just as easily being living our lives on our own. But we choose to be together. We choose to confide in one another, even though we have others we could turn to. We both came from very co-dependent relationships. So for us having our independence and still making the choice every day and every night is how we live.

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I’d be upset that I’d give myself to a man and have a child with him and then he tells me he doesn’t need me. The right man who is going to love you the right way, put you first, etc, won’t be able to function without you. He wouldn’t even want to consider the very idea of being without you, but your bf seemed extremely comfortable with the idea of you not being around.  He was very quick to tell you that he doesn’t need you, which tells me he’s at the very least insensitive to your feelings.  I wouldn’t be at all surprised that there’s probably somebody else out there for you.

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I don’t know.. if my husband said he didn’t need me as a way to hurt me that would be a problem for me. Deliberately being hurtful is a major no in my book. But simply being honest, even if it ends up hurting me, isn’t the same thing. If I’m honest about it I don’t think I “need” my husband. 
I don’t want to live without him. He most definitely makes my life better. I enjoy his company and look forward to raising our children together. But if something happened to him or something about our relationship changed significantly enough that he no longer made my life better I could absolutely live without him. And for my sake and the sake of my children I would absolutely live without him. I don’t think that’s mean or heartless, it’s simply the truth. 
Personally I don’t think I would ask my husband if he “needed” me because that’s not a question I want him to answer. And it’s not a useful metric for the importance or the health of our relationship.

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Oh he needs you. He is either too prideful to admit it or doesn’t realize it. If you were to ever leave him he would damn well realize he does need you. Men need us women. LOL

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I couldn't open the maple syrup today, defentially needed my husband then, lol. There are a million little things we need each other for, things we can't do by ourselves. It's ok to need each other in the sense of we are life partners and we support and care for each other. The "need" that is not healthy is when you get your identity from your partner, where you feel less then without them. 
I think his comment was a bit rough, we all need things in life, a reliable car, a good Dr, a house over our head. He does come across jerky and arrogant to say that to you.

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No. I dont need my partner either. Do i want to be with him? Yes 100%. Do i love him? Also yes. Do i need him? No. I have been a single mom for half a year and i did well without him. Did it sick? Yes because i missed him. But could i not function and live my life because he wasnt there? No. I did just fine on my own. I dont need him but i do want him. Its not an insult i dont think.

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No. I technically don’t need him either, but I love having him in my life.

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I agree w the other comments saying that you shouldn’t need anyone. But at the same tome, I feel like in your situation, it was said out of spite bc of the disagreement.

Would you be upset if S/O said they don't need you?

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