I hate myself, I always ruin everything

Ugh me and the person I was fw got into an argument yesterday and now we aren’t talking & I don’t think we ever will again. It’s all because I’m a dumb bitch 😒 I always ruin everything and get mad over little things. I’m mad at myself, I still wanna fw him but he probably doesn’t like me anymore/doesn’t wanna fw me anymore after the argument . It makes me sad knowing that we’ll probably never talk again. It’s all my fault, I’m so stupid. I apologized later that night & he hasn’t responded. Ugh I’ll never end up in a relationship or ever experience love because I’m a stupid bitch. No one will ever love me. I feel as though I’ll be single forever & never get married :(

Edit- I know not to do anything beforehand but didn’t think about it at the time & didn’t even think about wanting a relationship until afterwards but what’s done is done🤷🏻‍♀️ can’t go back and change anything.