I was checking out of the RE office with orders for blood work and a prescription for Femara. The nurse said call us on CD1, get labs on CD 3 and start meds after my blood work. She smiled and said wouldn't it be something if you were pregnant this cycle. Well CD 1 never came. I had a BFP on 12/4 12 dpo. Hcg was 84, then 586 and 1920. My due date was 8/15/19 and the first ultrasound was scheduled for Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a>. I told my husband, let's tell the family at Christmas if we get a good Ultrasound picture. I was feeling really good about this pregnancy. My son would be 2 in July and felt good about a 2year age gap. I was on cloud 9!

I have been in a fog since Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. I was 6 weeks 4 days and I went completely numb when that Ultrasound screen showed an empty sac. I stopped feeling excited or hopeful. I felt nothing for the next 3 weeks. I was mad at myself for feeling excited after the third hcg tests showed doubling every 48 hours. Every time I went to the restroom my excitement increased when there was no signs of bleeding or spotting (that's how previous MC always started). There's no baby, no yolk sac, no fetal pole.

At 8 weeks, I had a second ultrasound. The night before--out of desperation, I tried to convince myself that the doctor didn't know what he was doing and by some miracle a baby would be in there. I prayed for a miracle. I knew my ovulation date and only had sex once that month. My dates were accurate, so it must have been faulty equipment or a rushed doctor. The 8 week ultrasound showed a yolk sac and baby measuring 6 weeks but no heartbeat. The doctor said I was having a miscarriage but I was in denial.

We decided to get a second opinion at my OB office. Today, at 9 weeks the baby still measured 6 weeks and no heartbeat and remnants of a yolk sac. I just wish my body would stop being pregnant. Why must I experience every possible MC scenario. Early MC, ectopic, chemical and now this. I will be ok and I will keep trying but this sucks right now. D&C scheduled but hoping I MC naturally. I can hear the OB Nurse confirming my history, this is your 5th pregnancy and 1 living child.