Weird posting Ik

Okay so this might a little off topic with the group but I need to talk it out cuz I don’t know what to do. Before I got on eve and everything, I bought a sex toy cuz I’ve never tried anything, like I’m a virgin.

That was like a year ago and I still am. I tend to masturbate when I get horney or stressed. But I can’t use my imagination or erotica reading to get off, only porn helps in that area. That’s exactly the problem cuz, I’m a Christian and my friends as well and we’ve talked about masturbating a long while ago. We came to the conclusion that extremes are always bad. And even if I don’t go to that end, I’ve read some glow posts from Christians here and they all say the act itself is a sin.

Now I’m confused and can’t get it off my mind and it’s bugging me and I don’t know with whom to talk and I don’t know what to think and its getting to the point where it makes me irritable. It’s frustrating cuz i don’t wanna do something bad, but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to the people in the video. Like I don’t lust after anyone in particular, even if I try, I just need like a visual of what’s supposed to be happening cuz otherwise, masturbating with a ton of Funko pops watching from afar, ain’t the most seducing.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. Because I don’t want to disappoint God or take advantage of his mercy and forgiveness. But sometimes I wish I had a direct line to ask him this kind of things.

Anyone that can help?