I’m literally done
I’ll be 25 weeks tomorrow and ever since 6-7 weeks pregnant it’s been something. Every single week. From terrible morning sickness, to food aversions, to a super sensitive nose even still at almost 6 months pregnant, to crying every few days over nothing. Depression. Anxiety. No energy. Then a uti. Kidney infection. Now I’m almost at my max weight gain with almost 15 weeks left. I can’t take it anymore guys. Husband and I know this is our last which I’m thankful I was able to carry two healthy babies. But no one talks about how hard pregnancy can be. Not just physically but mentally. It’s killing me. I can deal with my bladder issues and every other physical pain. But I can’t deal with the mental side of things. This morning started like a regular Monday. I struggled a bit to get out of bed but I have to get up daily because I have a toddler that wakes at 6-7 daily. Well everything is going smooth. No indication that it’ll be a shitty day until after breakfast and I realize I have a doctors appointment today and I have to drag my toddler out with me. This isn’t an issue, he’s usually pretty good until I’ve waited at my doctors office with him in the stroller for about 45 mins past my appt time. I arrive 15 mins early so he’s been in it for an hour. I’m feeding him snacks. Stuff like that. He gets fidgety. Then my appt lasts another hour for no reason. They do the normal stuff and yet I’m left stressing over my son having a cow in his stroller. I understand. I would too at that age if my mom made me sit in a stroller for almost 2 hours. Days like this I wish my husband could go into work later so I can at least go to this appointment alone or with help but in the real world moms have 2-3 kids to actually lug around so I guess I’m only lucky I have 1. I start to think maybe I’m not made for this. I’m on edge a lot this pregnancy and I can’t enjoy myself. I struggle to have sex 1 time a week with my husband. I snap easily. I cry over nothing and I’m not a cryer so you can see how frustrating it is to burst in tears uncontrollably. It’s like my emotions aren’t mine. I’m just wondering when it’ll end. If I’ll have to deal with this up until labor or not. Idk if I should talk to my doctor but I’m afraid I’ll break down and cry and I don’t want to do that.
But I have lashed out and punched doors, threw my phone and had to replace it, broken dishes. It’s not like me. I just had no indication that this morning I would be crying and having a mental breakdown. I feel like I have a mental illness or bipolar disorder or something. I can be nice and happy and the next minute I just freak out. I can’t trust myself anymore. Idk what to do ladies. I’m scared this pregnancy is going to be the thing that does me in and I end up in a psych ward or something.