Dating an older guy… who happens to be a family Dr...

So ladies, here’s the scoop. There’s this guy, well man, that I’ve been interested in for a while now. I’d say that we met about six months ago, he began treating my mother for a specialty in his practice and I regularly take her to appointments and sit in on the doctors visits because of my background in medicine- so I can more effectively communicate things to my adorably ditzy mom and explain things in a medically equivalently him.

So about two or three months into taking my mom every few weeks to his office and the three of us going through a few appointments, I begin to realize that- damn- this guy is really something. I begin thinking about him more and more often, at first it was obvious that he was attractive- however I just left it at that, acknowledging subtly in my subconscious that he was attractive. But, over the course of the next few months, I really begin to kick it into mental overdrive. Now, he has a natural boyish flirtation, and is pretty personable and outgoing by nature. I think that his default setting is to be funny/flirty without even consciously acting that way with patients or other people. So after a few brief one on one chats in passing between appointments in the halls, this part of his charm really starts to hook me in. We tend to interact flirtily as peers or equals to some sense. However, it could be so easy to get confused with if this person is just interacting how they normally do, or is really flirting with you.

The thing now is that, over the last few months- I cannot get him off my mind. Constantly thinking about this guy, I’ve dreamt about him, fantasized about him…… and it’s gotten so bad that I realized a few weeks ago that he’s been my first waking thought and last thought when I fall asleep. The last time the two of us were in a room alone together, god I felt like I could choke on the sexual tension (maybe it was just me, who knows). Since then we’ve seen each other about two or three times and man, I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack or throw up. It’s just like, this person does something to me. But I’m still counting down the days till I’ll see him again. It feels weird calling it a crush because I’ve never felt something like this as an adult, and it’s genuinely terrifying.

Funny bit: my mother has been harping on me to start dating in the circle she wants me to find a serious guy in and marry. Jewish mom= making her daughter a Jdate profile. Ironically I thought it was hilarious, and we went through the ‘matches’ just for shits n giggles. LO AND BEHOLD. THERE IT WAS. Found em, single, no kids and never married. I knew he was Jewish too but just hadn’t ever thought that much into it. Funny enough, I had always seen myself settling down with another jew (don’t get me started on why it’s important but for some reason in our culture is a huge deal, but I was fine with it). Also, he’s 40, and I’m 21. A near two decade age difference. Yikes. Not something I’m unfamiliar with as I’ve always dated older guys (10-15 yrs older than myself) because guys in my age bracket are just hopeless and self absorbed. However, I get that that could be an issue for the older partner in the relationship.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, any advice or insight my wonderful sisters could bestow on me on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Past experience with a large age gap, how that effects kids and marriage and aging together, dating a doctor, something like what I’m going through, any explanation on what these crazy tricks my mind is playing on me, really just anything. Any advice would be appreciated. What do I dooooooo???😩