Hesitation on finding out gender

Bo

So I just got a message from the nurse saying my nipt came back as low risk for everything, which I’m very glad to hear, and to call her back if I wanted to know gender. I was really excited to find out before now. But I’m 37 with 2 boys, and I really want a girl. This will probably be my last child. And now I’m like afraid of the disappointment if it’s a boy. I’m almost not excited to find out now. How weird is that?!?