My personal experience with Cancer!

I haven’t really spoken about this in many years and I still can’t seem to move passed it. I was 12 when my older sister age 14 got diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. My sister is my best friend, my other half. I’m now 27 and she’s 29. It was a battle that no one could possible imagine to win, she gave up a few times but she did it, she has been on remission for 11 years.

But.....

In December 25th 2016 @1125pm I saw myself rushing to the hospital with my only baby boy which in this time he’s 6 years old, thinking that my son appendix had burst but that was not the case. We were in the emergency room all the way to the following day at 1pm we got discharged home. Doctors kept telling me they can’t seem to find the cause of his abdomen pain and that his blood work keeps coming back abnormal 😔. My child is exhausted I’m exhausted my husband is exhausted and I just keep asking questions but no response only that he’s anemic, since I have been in the medical field since the age of 19 I explained to the doctor that there’s some symptoms I’m concern about, 1. Severe bloody nose to the point the he was passing out 2 infections on his toes 3 fatigue 4 fatigue 5 no appetite. All symptoms and the only conclusion they kept saying was that he was anemic. My heart was broken because deep down I knew what it was. The doctor tells me follow up with his pediatrician on Monday, so we did the pediatrician says we have to get your child an appointment for a biopsy, that word shattered my world, my world stop spinning. She stated that the ultrasound that was taken at the emergency room showed a mass about the size of his abdomen area.

Skipping forward...

My son gets the biopsy we wait two excruciating weeks for the results the week before I tell my husband in the dining room “ my son has cancer” he says no that it can’t be and I tell him it is. My gut is telling me and I’ve been down down this road before. On Jan 12 we get the results my sons has stage 3 neuroblastoma. Worse news of my life my world finished shattering, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think. I’m just in complete shock. I screamed I cried as hard as I could but the ache I felt was so severe that I couldn’t handle it.

Skipping forward again....

A year and three months later after so many sleepless nights, nightmares, fears, surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy, autoimmune therapy. My son was on REMISSION. He did it. He fought. He won the battle. He’s my hero. He kicked cancers butt. He would be on complete remission when he hits the five year mark. Every three months he gets blood work and scans done to make sure everything is good. Which I still freak every single time.

But for some reason during this time. I keep returning to that awful day. I can’t seem to move past it.

Any word of advice?!?!