How can it look like this and still no bfp?

Ive been trying off and on for roughly 5 years...I know my next step is a specialist, but I've been so irregular over these years...I kind of contributed it to that fact. But sometimes, I'll even out and have regular months and they'll look like on all the right days, when I'm ovulating, and still turn out to be not my month with BFN and AF. Why does conceiving have to be SO hard for some?! Just venting...I just want this month to be MY month...OUR month...finally.