a case of raging Baby Fever

Okayyy I KNOW I’m going to be judged for this, but I need somewhere to put it so I’m not keeping it inside.

BASICALLY ya girl has madddd baby fever. I want a baby SO bad. Like now. Right now.

I just got out of a relationship last week and I found out that my now ex boyfriend went back to his baby mama... now, he’s 17 and she’s 15. He’s a junior in high school and she’s a sophomore. I feel hurt and betrayed but tbh I wanted a baby even before that. So that has nothing to do with it.

One of my really good friends is 21 weeks pregnant and I’m reeeealllyyy excited for her. She’s making me the God mama of her baby, and I’m glad to be it, but I want more, you know?

My sister has an almost 2 year old son that lives with me. I babysit him whenever she needs me to, and honestly sometimes I pretend that he’s mine. Just in my head. I never have him call me mommy or anything because obviously that’s weird and not right (he knows I’m his aunt of course), but it’s fun. He’s the sweetest little boy and I see the bond he has with my sister. I want that for myself.

I know I’d be a great mom. I’ve cleaned so many poopy diapers, I’ve given so many baths, bottle fed and helped my nephew learn how to eat solid foods... I’ve been puked on. I know all the ugly aspects of parenting. I know how little sleep moms get and how your friends drift away because you can’t hang out with them anymore unless you can bring your baby. And let’s be honest, there aren’t many places you can really bring a newborn.

But I’m willing to give all that up. To have someone of my own to love. To take care of.

Call me crazy for wanting to be pregnant at 17, but... I just really want a child. I think I’m ready. I know it might be early for some people, but I really am ready. I’m turning 18 soon and I graduate high school in 5 months.

Obviously I’m not going to get pregnant any time soon because as I stated, I am no longer in a relationship. It just sucks because I’m ready to settle down and have a family, and it feels like no one else I know is. Even my pregnant friend... her life is a mess, she’s just lucky her boyfriend is super supportive and will be an amazing father.

Anyway, is there anyone else, especially teenagers like me, that experience this?