My son is going on a year old and I am still breastfeeding him to sleep and through the night (wakes up several times) and I co sleep with him, he is not sleep trained though he will fall asleep on his own during naps after being put in his crib after being fed and laid in there awake. But his pediatrician suggested a few months ago that we needed to get him sleep trained and though I have tried, ITS HARD! The mom guilt, the lack of sleep for all of us, the anxiety, the frustration, overwhelmingness, the sadness and emptiness. And it frustrates me because yes I absolutely wish he would sleep through the night, but in all honestly not for me... for him! I wish he would get a full nights sleep, he has never had one and omg I bet he would find it world changing 🤩 ha ha I want him to be able to get the sleep he needs. BUT I’m not ready to sleep train him... yes but no. I am not ready to give up my snuggles and cuddles with him, Watching him fall asleep because mommy is there and he is in his happy place and feels comfortable and safe. I’m not ready to give it all up because his doctor thinks it’s time. She isn’t not his mommy and I feel like this is an “our decision” and that we need to be ready and it needs time and dedication. And tbh I don’t have the dedication because I’m not ready. That is my time with my baby and I’m the only one that gets to share those moments with him one on one, just us, bonding and nourishing each other. While my son goes around saying dadadadadada all day, I know that this is one thing that is just mine and my sons. Just ours. Just our time. And it makes me happy. It makes us happy 💕