I’ve finally found the time to just sit down and write about my labour and birth, and just a little afterwards too.

My pregnancy was pretty normal, I didn’t know I was expecting until the day my period was meant to come. Days prior when I usually get my “she’s coming” symptoms I had nothing, pure silence. No light cramping, not moody or even extra cuddly with my partner. I had a suspicion, even though my results would come back negative regardless, I tested. And to my surprise, it was a clear positive. I told my partner the same day, he was so happy initially and then it sunk in. We were going to be parents. We lived in a one bedroom flat that was not suited for even two people, let alone a third.

When I got to 16 weeks I left work early that day discovering I was having a bleed. It was light, but I was having a bit of cramping. Being my first ever pregnancy I didn’t want to chance anything. Arriving at the hospital they were organising me to gets bloods and urine sample done. The nurse there was obligated to tell me that it was possible for a miscarriage happening and if so, there was nothing they could do for me as I was still early. My world came tumbling down, the baby I was so excited for was possibly going to be taken away from me. 8 hours I spent at the hospital in total, to find out I have a short cervix which was the cause. They wanted to do regular checks to make sure it wasn’t shortening too quick before I was full term - ready to go into labour.

I did also find out my placenta was in front instead of being behind. I found that being the main cause of not feeling my baby kick sooner and also more frequent. This led to me feeling anxious about any irregular quiet periods, and many visits to the midwives about it. Everything always ended up being okay, of course. Though, there was a time when checking for baby’s heartbeat we couldn’t find it, the relief when I turned to my side we found it. My cervix did shorten after a long time, around 30-32 weeks, they gave me a script to get filled to help strengthen it back up just in case of the chance of early labour. I wish I could say I took the medication, however, my job cut my hours back a ton leaving me unable to afford it. So I did without it, and never filled it. No one really asked questions again once I told them I was unable to pay for it.

Once I got to the 36 week mark I was always on the look out for any signs of labour. I desperately wanted my pregnancy to be over and to meet my baby boy then. For me, nothing really worked the sex or the spicy foods or excessive walking. I did have one false alarm thanks to intense braxton hicks. On a midwife appointment I had been informed some of my regular feelings were signs of pre labour. Meaning I was close to going into real labour at some stage, I just had to be patient for the day.

39 weeks. November 28th at 4AM I woke up suddenly with the desperate need to pee. My bladder had never felt so full as pee was running down my leg hitting the carpet of my bedroom. I still ran for the toilet feeling sweet relief as my bladder emptied. I felt fine afterwards, but only for a few minutes. That’s when it hit me, the worst pain in the world. More intense and overwhelming than period cramps. I screamed loudly, moaning in pain on my couch the amount of noise I made woke my partner up who was due for work in 2 hours time. He was confused and scared of what was happening, I told him to call the hospital as I got into the shower trying to relax myself.

The hospital told us that I was indeed sounding like I was contracting, definitely going into labour at this rate they just didn’t want me coming in just yet. We were told to stay at home for the meantime to see if they would ease off, and if they didn’t we were to call back and come in. The second I got into bed my pain notched up even more, screaming once again as the continuous waves kept coming.

I arrived at the hospital nearly 6am admitted straight away, a room and a midwife to check how far I had progressed. Now, my midwife appointments I was never checked over to see if I had any dilation or thinning. The lady told me, “you’re cervix is paper thin and you’re already 3cm along.” I was then offered pain relief, desperate to feel just a little less I agreed and was given a little bit of gas (which they turned off, and in my 2 hours of sleep I had before labour, thought it was still on) whilst they organised some morphine for me. Personally, it took some of the edge off but not enough to completely make me feel less.

Throughout the labour I was in and out of sleep waking up to intense contractions screaming. My partner admits to covering his ears at one point I was that loud. I kept having the need to pee and then the need to really, REALLY go to the toilet even though nothing was happening. My lower back and behind were killing me, so I was instructed to be on all fours to help as baby was moving further into position. This didn’t help me all to much, if anything I wanted to be back on my side and hold the gas pipe constantly. The midwife asked if I needed anything, so I asked if it was possible for some more pain relief. In order for that she needed to wait for my contractions to stop long enough to check how far I’ve progressed. Now depending on how far along I was, and how badly it got I had my mind set on epidural.

During my bouts of in and out of sleep I woke up to my partner on the phone talking - it was my mum waiting to pick me up from home to take me to an appointment, she had no idea I’d gone into labour until then. Then my attention was directed to the two ladies down at my feet poking and prodding around. “You’re already at 9cm. Not long to go now.” I remember the time then, 9:15 my partner just got off the phone to mum.

I felt something down low moving. “Somethings coming.” I said aloud looking alarmed at everyone in the room. “The heads out, okay get ready.” My partner came dashing to my side holding my hand. Effortlessly, and I want you to take me seriously here when I say this. When they asked me to push the shoulders out, I barely pushed, barely put any effort or energy into it. My son literally slid out all on his own. He didn’t cry loudly or for long, just a short sweet one before he was placed on my chest and breast.

9:17AM November 28 2018, my son, Jayce Anthony was born.

Here he is now, nearing 2 months: