My mother hates me

For years my mother has been mentally and emotionally abusive. She is always horrible and aggressive for no reason and she is always saying something to make me upset. For example her, i ask her one question and i get told to fuck off. She always says she is sick of me and that i am the cause of her being sick and everything like that. I don’t understand why she hates me so much and I definitely don’t feel any love from her. I dont feel any sort of attachment to her either and i feel this kind of relationship i have had with her over the years has damaged the way i am now. Sure she has been through things herself, but that is no excuse to mentally abuse your kid in the slightest.

I feel so horrible because I sometimes which she was gone completely from this world and i hate her so much and I sometimes have zero love for her.

I have not gone into detail on the really horrible things this has done but i cant deal with this, i have no mother figure or bond in my life and i hate it :(