I think am in love with my ex
So long story short my ex and I started a relationship almost 6 years ago and lasted about 8 months, he was my first and greatest love. I emigrated to the USA and he didn't want to move here so the relationship slowly died, SLOWLY, it tooked me almost 2 years to have a serious partner.
I met this awesome person that changed my world and that I completely fell in love with. I cut all ties with my ex because having him in my life wasn't an option if I really wanted to move on and in this case was the thing That I wanted the most. Almost two years into our relationship we started talking about kids and how much we wanted to make babies together, so May 2017 I got pregnant and gave birth February 3 2018 to a healthy baby girl. We were drowning in happiness until I started to realize some things. The person I was with was an incredibly good guy and a terrific person but he had the emotional intelligence and the life responsability of a 10 years old. He is a wonderful boyfriend but he is far away from a husband, he would work all day to provide for his family but he would got home to play Xbox all night, the sex is the best but I am not able to keep a conversation without him holding his phone. He is great with the baby but I can say he is like a brother to her, he has never feed the baby, or giving her a bath and it has been months since he change a diaper. I just can't stand it anymore, I've been with this feeling almost since the baby were born. I decided to walk out of the relationship for my sake and my baby's but I was waiting for the right moment to do so. I still love him but I am not happy anymore and I don't think that is fair for any of us. Talking with him about how I feel is nearly impossible, he is not mature enough to understand what is happening and I am tired of the lack of communication. He is not a bad person by any chance but I've been feeling like he is not the right person for me.
Las week I went back to where I am from and had an encounter with that someone from the past that I haven't seen in 6 years. We were 19 and 20 when we were together and now we are two different people with completely different circumstances. He invited me to a drink and we talked for hours, the next day he called me again and I couldn't resist to say yes, after all, a couple drinks were not going to change anything. Funny thing, they absolutely did, we talked from 10 pm to 7 am and we share all kinds of stories and feelings, he confess he hasn't stop loving me for a day and he promise he would give his everything this time if I wanted to start all over again with him.
The decision of ending my relationship was taken way before meeting my ex, but now the rush to do it so I don't miss this amazing second chance with someone I loved deeply and That I feel I can love again like that, it is just taking his toll on me. I don't know what to feel, I don't know if I am rushing too much or if I am doing all this ruled by my emotions. Should I keep fighting for the father of my daughter or should I give myself the opportunity to be happy with someone else that otherwise I would loose forever? I just want some help understanding my situation and I think that an outside look can give me some different light into the whole matter. Please ladies, just be kind and supportive. Help me out. Thanks for reading if you did and thank you for your advised in advance.
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