So to make a long story short I miscarried 12/10 at 6W1D. We had only told a few people, one of them being one of my best friends, who has had 4 miscarriages herself; I turned to her for support. A week later she found out that she was pregnant as well after having her IUD in for the past 6 years, so it was very unexpected. She was scared to tell me and I can understand that. We would have been due the same month and everything. How awesome would that have been for us both to share this time together. She already has 2 kids and I am so happy for her, but at the same time I hate to admit that I am jealous. It’s not a hate type of jealousy, it’s my deep want of a child jealousy. Without saying anything I had to distance myself from her a bit while I heal from my own emotional trauma and MC.

Fast forward to last night. I got a text from her asking me to help plan her gender reveal party.

......

To be honest, I am shocked that she would ask me this, given she has had multiple miscarriages herself & knows exactly the way I am feeling. My MC was only 5/6 weeks ago. I am still not ok from it.

I told my husband and he thinks I should help. He says “you know she would be there for you.”

I get where he’s coming from, but then again I don’t think he understands the impact on me. I am torn. I want to help her celebrate, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to. When I hear of her updates I just can’t help but feel sad because that’s where I would be in my pregnancy. I know if I help with the reveal that feeling will only be worse.

I just simply don’t know how to move forward with this.

Would I be in the wrong for politely declining?

Should I just suck it up and help her?

Any advice?