Ive written and erased this post 3 times...Im not a venter..Im not a sharer.....This month is going to mark 10 months of TTC with intervention. 2 years total. PCOS is out of control. Only 1 fallopian tube.

Chlomid then Femara. Trigger shots. Follicle study every other week. 5 cycles of

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>

, This month will be 6. Insurance covers nothing for me.

Over this time I have had a number of close friends and family announce their pregnancies, but today for some reason it got to me. A close family member had confided in me 2 months ago that she was going to start TTC but she knew she had PCOS and was so worried how it would be hard for her... boom. Pregnant. The next month.

Through my whole journey I have been calm and relaxed, letting it be what it is, but now I'm losing that.

I banked pto at work so this year I would have extra time for leave, I pay extra each month to have supplemental benefits for maternity leave. If I dont have success in February or March itll all be a waste.

I'm at the point of begging my body to do what it was made to do, desperate to have success. I don't want my fiance or my friends to know that I'm losing my grip. I dont want to let this anxiety be real.

I'm at the point of writing a post on a forem asking complete strangers for advice on TTC.