Today (7weeks) I started cramping (been off and on since finding out I was pregnant 4w2d)

And spotting. It started out very light, it got a little heavier then stopped and started back. After going to the hospital, the conclusion is that I haven't miscarried yet. My gestational sack is showing up empty with no visible heartbeat. The Dr. Said that there is a chance it could still develop. I have no hope. No faith. It is now 3 am, and I can't sleep because I am facing the reality of a 6th miscarriage. I am hurt to say that, now I realize more then ever just how much of a miracle my son is. And how absolutly lucky I am to have him. I feel selfish saying how much I want another baby when I already have him, but the reality of it is that it hurts. A LOT! To feel like such an absolute failure at the one thing you where biologically created to do. The one thing you want more then anything else. I feel defeated. Lost. And empty. I feel so very empty. I don't know what to do. How to move on. I have no doubt that I will never be able to have another baby. I know that this might not be the place to vent about this. But it's all I've got, as only a few people know that my husband and I were pregnant. We haven't announced because of my history of miscarriages.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

And thank you to anyone that reads this.